On here yesterday I said that I would ty to continue where I left off, so I'll give it a go..

My Mum and I left home that morning about 8am, we had no idea where we were going, where we would end up or what we would do. It was August 8th 1975... as we drove I asked mum why we were leaving home and she said it was because of what John had put in my birthday card, she thought that he was going to carry out the words on the card! but little did she know her inoccent little girl wasn't inoccent any more because of Don! he'd seen to that years before, but I think there must have been more to it than that, why didn't she just tell him it was unacceptable and ask him to go? after all it was her house not his? Anyways, we drove for what seemed like hours and eventually ended up at the Army Barracks in London where my sister was stationed, Mum went into the office and asked to speak with her and it took them a while to locate her, when she arrived mum told her we had left home and that we'd let her know where we ended up.. then got back in the car and drove off once more.. I was so confused, I had no idea where we were going or where we'd end up!

To cut along story short, after driving for most of the day Mum pulled out an address in Birmingham, It was Mark's Mum's address (the bakery guy).. I'd met her before and she was really nice, it turned out that was where mum was heading for... I have no idea why.... anyways we arrived there about 9pm and nearly scared the poor woman to death, she had no idea we were coming, Mum had forgot to call her on route... we stayed with her for about a week when she said she couldn't have us any longer, it was time to move on... so we packed up the car once again and drove off...we found a small caravan, (I have no recollection of where it was) that we could rent for a few weeks and stayed there trying to decide what to do, but very quickly mum's money began to run out, so in the middle of the night with three weeks rent owing we packed up the car and headed off again, at the end of this journey we found ourselves at my Mum's brothers house in Guildford.. again he had no idea we were coming but welcomed us into his home with his wife and children..He asked mum what had happened and she told him that her and John had split up, I don't know if she told him about the comments in the card or not, but he seemed to understand... We'd been there just a few days, about 4 or 5, when Mum decided that she should let Don know where we were?? She said people would be worried! So she made the call and by the next day he was there in guildford.. my uncle didn't like Don and told mum that there was no way he could stay as well, if mum wanted him around she would have to find somewhere else to live!

It took a few days for them to arrange anything at all and before I knew it Mum told me we were once again on the move... this time though we headed south again, back towards home and the area's that I knew... we ended up renting a small flat in Eastbourne.. Don didn't move in with us initially but he was around a lot, still the bully he had always been and I was still scared to death of him.. I found him to be very intimidating and when he was around I reverted back into the shy quiet mouse that I had been as a small child... Mum noticed the difference in me and asked me what was wrong, but she asked me in front of him! as if I could tell her? I just said that I was unsettled and needed to know what was happening, she shouted back at me 'when I know I'll tell you ok!' I decided it best to keep quiet once more... My opportunity to tell her the truth about him had gone as quick as it had come.. He became a frequent visitor to the flat once more and before I knew it the sexual abuse had started again, Mum had taken me away from John to prevent him doing anything like that to me, but without knowing it by bringing Don back on the scene she had inflicted on me once more the worst pain and heartache that you could imagine!

At every opportunity he had he would abuse me, rape me and threaten me that if I tried to tell anyone he would kill mum, I beleived him wholeheartedly, he was such a vicious man, and I'd seen that temper of his, that I thought I had no choice but to accept what he was doing to me.
We stayed in that flat throughout christmas, all the time I was looking for a way out of there, I applied to join the Army just like my sister as I beleived it would at least get me away, I passed all the written tests with flying colours but when it came down to the medical I failed! I was underweight... They refused to accept me and said that if I could increase my weight by a stone then I would be welcome to try again! My exit route blocked I had to stay where I was, I had no where to go!

By February 1976 things were very hard, I had been unable to find myself a job so had no money of my own and was totally dependant on mum and him! I hated it, mum and I made a pact that if I kept the flat clean and tidy she would work.. it was ok when he wasn't around and we had some laughs, but when he was there it was horrible, he'd have me wait on him hand and foot saying I was getting a free ride anyways so it was my job! The hardest day ever came at the end of the month, he's been back to his wife for a few days and when I woke up one morning he was already in the flat.. I'd not been well for a few days with the flu so had slept quite late.. when he saw me he commented... 'lazy bugger you getting up today?' I told him I'd been ill and he replied to me, 'well your mum's up, and she's ok!' I said I was pleased she was ok.. and went to the bathroom to get bathed ...Whilst I was in there mum called out to me that she had to pop down the shops for a few bits, I answered ok.. but inside I dreaded it, I knew that unless he went with her I'd be home alone with him once more and I knew what that meant!.. She told me she'd be back in about an hour... I stayed in the bathroom for what seemed like hours hoping that mum would get back before I came out... but I never was very lucky.... When I came out he was sat there, he started making comments about me being wrapped in just a towel, (I'd not taken my clothes in with me as mum had been there) 'you look cute in that' he said to me, 'wonder what you look like underneath?' I said I wasn't feeling to good so was going to go back to bed.. thinking this would make him leave me alone.. but I wasn't lucky in that way at all... within a few minutes he was in the bedroom removing his clothes.... he climbed into my bed........ and started touching me, I begged him not to do this again, and he said 'you should be used to this by now and be able to enjoy it! relax and you'll have some fun with me?'........ I felt pressure... pain.......hands everywhere..... rough hands........ more pain......... then pressure as he tried to rape me....... More pain worse than I'd ever felt before... then I realised he was not doing quite what he had done before.... he was raping me but in a different place!.......... I started to cry, begging him to stop, the pain was unbearable....... excruciating pain... horrible pain... as he did what he was doing... I was crying, terrified, begging him to stop..... he placed a hand over my mouth and told me to shut up... he didn't want the neighbours to hear us.... more pain........
I remember saying that Mum will be back soon, please stop this!.... the pain was unbeleivable.... I decided that day that no matter what, I had to get away... when he finally stopped after what seemed like hours, he told me to go get cleaned up as mum would be back soon..

When Mum returned she told me that she had just spoken to my sister in London and we were going up to see her the next day for her birthday on March 1st.. At last I had a way out.... I couldn't wait... I told mum that I was going to go out and get some air along the seafront, and I'd be back later on... I stayed out most of the day returning early evening and I went straight to bed.... determined that what had happened that day would never happen again.... When I woke up the next morning he was already there shouting that if we were going to london then we'd best get moving before the traffic got bad... I dressed quickly and quietly, dreading the thought of being in a car with him all the way there, I felt terrified that my plan to get away had been dashed as he was coming with us but I needn't have worried as it didn't happen.. I was still able to escape his clutches that day!....

Can't write anymore now.....