Thursday night and am so low right now that just don't know what to do with myself. I have been having certain memories coming forward that are now clearer than ever before, and they aren't pleasant!

The most clear in my mind now is an event when I was about 12/13yr old, two of my older sisters went to the cinema in the nearest big town, they were told by him to be home by 10.30pm.. Well! the film over ran a bit and they had to run to get the bus! one made it and tried to get the bus driver to wait for my other sister, but he wouldn't! He was on his last run of the day and I guess wanted to get home.. anyways to cut a long story shorter, the younger of the two made it home in time just.. she was asked where my other sister was and she told them, (mum and him) what had happened.. anyways we didn't see my other sister from that day until about 3/4 days later when the police brought her back.. she was covered in cuts and burns (Cigarette burns all over her chest), her beautiful long waist length hair gone! she'd been attacked and taken somewhere... we still to this day don't know where.. she told us that three guys had dragged her into a car and raped her over the three days, the signs were there to see, but the police and Mum did nothing.. Don on the other hand started shouting and saying she was irresponsible and useless and was late home! He started hitting her as he screamed.. she was yelling at mum to stop him saying 'haven't I been through enough?' But she got no sympathy at all, I'm sure they thought she had made it all up and lied as an excuse for being home late, for missing the bus that she had tried so hard to catch! As if she would burn herself and stay away for 3/4 days for that, knowing that just by being late home she would be beaten by him.. why would she do that? She wouldn't would she?

There are many times in my childhood where I can say that sympathy should have been shown but wasn't! like when my brother was pushed from a first floor window at boarding school and broke his leg in two places, Don said he did it deliberately to be sent home for a few weeks!! That man was evil in itself... he didn't know how to show care or compassion to anyone not even our mum.. Mum had a major problem with her back as we grew up and had to wear a surgical support belt, she wasn't supposed to lift anything heavy but he never helped her, she was left to struggle alone unless we could help!

Why are people like that allowed to live in the normal world, with normal people? they mess everyone up and then walk away not even caring about the trail of damage they leave behind...

As these memories become clearer to me at the moment I struggle to find the answers to my questions, like many Survivors I just want to know why? Why did it happen to me? Why did no one see what was going on in our house? and for those that suspected things weren't right, Why did they do nothing about it at all? Is everyone elses life so busy that they can't or won't protect the children? After all the children of today are the adults of tomorrow who we will be relying on to run the country, to make sure we are safe as we get old and infirm... Isn't it time that Governments all over the world did something possitive for the children to make sure they are ALL safe as they sleep at night? To make sure they all have love and care that they deserve, the food they need and the safe environment in which to grow and learn! If only every person reading this was to write to their own Goverment demanding that action be taken to protect the Children then maybe sooner rather than later they would listen!
I live in hope, as I hate to think of anyone living their life the way I am.. with the memories and the pain, its not as if I asked for it to happen, I had no CHOICE!..