How do I put into words the way I feel today? I feel sad, lonely and scared, scared to be alone in my own home because of a prowler/stalker and have no idea what I can do about it? The police are as good as useless, because unless he causes damage to my home or hurts one of us they can't act?

I'm sad because my best friend is away and is almost unable to get on line to chat to me, we did manage a little chat this morning but its never enough.. hense why I feel lonely at the same time. I've kinda got used to her being around each day even when she was at work I'd see her each morning and evening. She only left on Thursday night, so I really didn't expect to feel this bad so soon.. We've become really close in the time we've known each other, just over a year and a half and now I can't imagine my life without her in it somewhere!

I had a bad night again last night not sleeping very well at the moment, mainly because I just can't settle but also because the prowler worries me, and I keep having bad dreams and flashbacks about my second abuser!.. As i said the other day in here if only people realised the long term damage abuse causes then maybe, just maybe help would be given much sooner to the victims.

I'm now struggling big time to continue with my therapy because I know I need it, but when your on a limited income its hard to find nearly £30 every week.. I beleive this should be free to victims of Abuse we didn't ask to be abused or raped yet we suffer emotionally, financially and physically because of it! What does the Abuser suffer? Nothing.. they may get put on The Sex Offenders Register and have to notify police of their whereabouts but many do not.. mine certainly doesn't as the register wasn't set up by the time he was released from prison, so he can go where he pleases and no one ever knows his past!

It stinks. The whole system stinks and makes me sick! He! 'Donald William Horrace Nicholson' is nothing more than a child abuser, a PHAEDOPHILE! He Abused my sister and myself sexually, physically and emotionally, and he Abused my other three siblings physically and emotionally and basically got away with it! Ok he served a total of four years in Prison for his deeds, but thats nothing compared to what we have suffered all our lives because of what he did to us.

Getting very angry again so before I say something I shouldn't, I'd best stop writing for now.. May come back later?