Tuesday morning..

Have no idea whats wrong with me these past few days, I have gone from being in a good mood one minute to feeling so sad the next that I could easily cry! Last night was a typical example I was siting at home with my friend wrapping christmas presents when My mood just dropped, there wasn't really any reason for it, just christmas looming and lots to do but no energy to do it. I just can't seem to get into the spirit of christmas this year?

I have been having a few flashbacks lately, and was 'Triggered' last night by another so called friend.. but usually I cope with these pretty well and can cover up how I feel inside, but right now I feel so low I can't cover it up any more.

I am going out today with two of my sisters for a pre christmas lunch, which I am looking forward to a little bit, but the thought of crowded shops, restaurants and roads doesn't really appeal to me much at the moment. It will be good to catch up with them though as even though we live round the corner from them both we hardly see each other these days, what with christmas preperations and their working etc there just isn't enough hours in the day to get everything done. My house is a complete mess right now so I need to do that as well before tomorrow! I am trying to move and have someone coming round to look at the house tomorrow afternoon, if it looks good enough they may offer to buy it so that I can move so I really need to get it sorted. My job for tomorrow I guess eh!

My therapy has stopped for the holidays, so Don't see Jane again now until 5th January 2007.. that seems such a long way away right now... I know I will cope ok, but there are times when I think I need to talk to someone, however I just can't seem to put into words how I feel most of the time, I know I feel low but can't seem to find the reason I can't pin point it which makes it hard to explain to those that care and worry about me. I could go to the doctor and ask for help but all he'd do is put me on pills and I don't want to result to that unless I can't find any other way!

Oh! well.. best get ready to go out my sisters will be here soon ... will write a bit more later on if I get the time..