Sunday afternoon..

I am sitting in the same spot that I've been in all day, you see yesterday I had a bit of an accident and fell down the stairs.. I've hurt my back and today am really sore, still it will ease in a few days if I take it easy eh!

Went to see a few houses for sale again yesterday, and saw one for the second time I think that maybe this is one I will try to get as it is in a good location and even though it needs some work it has such potential that its worth going for. It needs a new kitchen and bathroom and a paint job through out, but I feel that I can handle it. There are 4 bedrooms so I will have a guest room for visitors which will be great, no one will have to sleep on the sofa anymore! cool eh!

I was in my groups chat last night, and we had a few new members come in for the first time, the bravery of some of these people is amazing and gives me a real boost. You see most people joining a new group for Abuse Survivors don't start talking about themselves until they know the other members a little bit, but last night was different. I guess these people needed to talk so we listened and very soon I found myself opening up a little and talking about myself!
With some 14 people in the room, and I knew about 6 of them, I found myself telling them all that my abuse began at the tender age of 5years old, it continued until I left home at 16 years and then I had the incidents at age 19yr and 32yr.. in between the second and third incidents I had an abusive controlling marriage to live through, the only good thing to come from it was my two children who I wouldn't swap for the world! (well sometimes I would happily lol).. I surprised myself by how much I actually told these people, but sometimes you need to open up a bit to let them know that they are free to talk as well.. it was a really good chat last night and I hope that those people feel able to return again its a good feeling talking to people that you know understand where your coming from. It took me years to find such groups and I must admit it was the best thing I ever did, I met the person who is now my best friend through these groups and have received so much support there that now I want to pass that on to other survivors, hence the reason why we set up the group we now run!. I hope the members there feel as supported and listened to as I do!.. its a great group of people all survivors of some type of abuse, be it Domestic Violence, Childhood Abuse or Sexual Abuse we all struggle from day to day with memeories and flashbacks etc so its good to know others understand.

I'm starting to write my story for real this week, and even though I know it will be tough going in places I intend to complete it by the end of the year. I will write as much detail as I can cope with even though I know it will not be easy! But who said life was easy eh? not me! will let you know how it goes..