Thursday evening.


So far this week has gone from bad to worse, first of all on monday evening I put my back out and ended up in the local hospital Accident and Emergency department. As if that wasn't bad enough, it took the paramedics over an hour just to get me mobile enough to get into the ambulance.. entinox is wonderful!! lol The doctor at the hospital was all but useless asking me what I wanted her to do? After an hour or so I just asked her to give me pain releif and muscle relaxant and let me go home! she wasn't going to do anything else anyways so I saw no point in staying there.

I spent all day tuesday stuck in bed in a lot of pain, if it hadn't been for my friend I don't know wat I would have done. When I moved here my sisters (who live around the corner) said they would help if I needed it thats why I moved here? but when I needed it where were they? far to busy to even pick up my meds from the local chemist... they had the prescription by 11am bu brought the tablets up to me at 5pm! I'd been in agony all day not that they gave a damn. They didn't even ask how I was? so what was the point in me moving here? I haven't heard from either of them since either.

Wednesday I finally forced myself to get mobile again and got up and went out, painful to say the least but I could bear it just. Today the shit hit the fan! I got a letter from the Incapacity Benefit people telling me that I didn't qualify anymore? they have stopped my money immediately including my income support until I appeal? what I'm supposed to live in meanwhile I have no idea, they said its down to the medical I had back in November and my doctors report? But I am getting Disability Living allowance for life because of my back problem, but according to them I have no problem? wok that one out if you can. So I have spent today trying desperately to work out what to do, I've been job hunting big time but not many employers will take on someone with the problems I have, so what do I live on meanwhile? fresh Air I guess....

I'm so frustrated right now because of all this I have had to cancel my therapy tomorrow because I have to go and see my GP, to find out what he said in his report, and I can't afford to go anyway.. so back to square one for me.. no therapy no help and stuff the victims of Abuse because we don't matter to anyone at all.. It makes me sick to my stomach... What I'm going to do in the future I have no idea, and at this time don't care, I could lose my home, starve to death and be freezing.. so at least they won't need to put me in the morgue eh! just leave me at home it will be cold enough anyways..

VERY FRUSTRATED RIGHT NOW AND DESPERATELY TRYING TO FIND A SOLUTION TO ALL THIS MESS..