Wow!..

I hate how I feel right now, I'm edgy with everyone, snappy, moody and feeling really low. Have no idea why I feel like this but I can't seem to lift myself up again right now. Yes its been a busy couple of weeks and I have more to come as both my children have birthdays next week.. but thats no excuse... I've been having dreams that make no sense at all, and I wake up edgy and snappy ?? For anyone who knows me this is not me! usually I would wake up smiling and cheerful, but not at the moment..

I know I have a lot on my mind right now, with financial worries and christmas around the corner, but that's really no excuse for upsetting those I care about! Not sure what I can do about it though.. I try to put things out of my mind but it just isn't working ... feeling far to negative about things... where are the positives in my life? I need to find them again and need to find them fast before I drive everyone away and end up alone again.. That would please those that hurt me wouldn't it? to see me struggle on my own once more they would win again! I can't let thet happen anymore.. I cannot become a victim I am a Survivor and will continue to fight onward and upward to make my life the best that I can ...

I'll try to write in here how I'm feeling later today if I can find the words to explain it..